I’ve. Had. Enough.

This isn’t going to be all negativity,I promise. I just needed to say that I’ve had enough. Because I have. And it feels good to release.

This week turned to crap. I really feel like I’ve been getting attacked. But now I’m to a point where my attitude is taking over to say BRING IT ON.

Went to the doc earlier this week for a follow up. My OB, I mean. I am set up with a primary care now, but not till October 8. But my OB thinks I possibly do have fibromyalgia. And he also agrees that I probably need to change up my antidepressant. But we also both agree that I shouldn’t be adding any meds or changing anything while I’m breastfeeding.

So I made a choice. I don’t like this choice, and I’m having a hard time with it. But the choice is that I need to stop breastfeeding. GASP!! Judge me all you want and try to tell me I don’t have to stop. But knowing me, it’s what I have to do to give my children what’s best. A mother in good enough health to take care of them. My children deserve as happy and pain free of an environment as I can give them. The essentials of that to health outweigh the essentials to breast feeding. I know how influential our emotions are to our health. I’ve experienced the physical deterioration of them. I don’t want to subject my children to any of that anymore simply because I can’t take meds with breast feeding. Natural remedies? I’ve tried a lot. No success. I’ve tried no meds. Meds don’t cure me, no. But they’re a piece of the puzzle to stabilize the hormones and chemicals that are out of whack in my body. I need them on top of the natural remedies. And now I need something else because my body is changing again. And all my health issues along with my depression, anxiety, autoimmune, I believe all tie together.

This hasn’t been a light decision. The bottle has been hard, and I’ve been quick to give in because it breaks my heart. Esp when he and all of us got sick this week. Stomach bug. He got the worst of it. And because he gags on the bottle sometimes and needed hydration, I wasn’t about to push the bottle. I was thankful I hadn’t stopped yet. God knew he probably needed that milk still. But deep down I feel I need to stop before too long. Before I get worse and might even have to do go cold turkey. Weaning will be easier. One day at a time.

In this, I need support. I do not need people telling me that there are other options or pressuring me to keep trying to nurse. If you cannot support me, then don’t say anything please. I hate to be that way, but it is a decision I have made based on much prayer and thought. It is a decision I have made based off of how well I know myself and what I believe it’s best for my children and my family.

Part of the reason I haven’t stopped yet is because of how much pressure is put on us to breast feed. I am very pro breast feeding! But for some people, it just doesn’t work out. And in the long run, most of these babies that are formula fed turn out perfectly fine. And if they don’t, who’s to say it was because they were formula fed?

Point is, the worst thing you can do for me right now is encourage me to keep trying. I have been keeping on trying. The best thing you can do for me is pray for me in this, whether you agree with my decision or not.

If you know me, you know this isn’t a decision made out of selfishness. It is a decision made out of the opposite. Wanting to care properly for my family. And I know me. I am me. Everyone is different. I am who I am. You are who you are.

I love my son. I love my daughter and my husband too. My decision on breastfeeding affects all of them simply because of how my health it’s being affected.

Anyways, that’s that. So what have I had enough of? Being held back. I’m putting my foot down. Things can only get better is the approach I’m taking now. I must be doing something right to get attacked so much.

So, with that, I end with PRAISE GOD!

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2 thoughts on “I’ve. Had. Enough.

  1. I feel like only the people who are wise enough and love you enough to respect your decisions should be the ones you listen to because they obviously want what’s best for you, not just to make themselves sound superior. Yes, breastfeeding is awesome, but it doesn’t work for everyone and you shouldn’t be ashamed to say you can’t or don’t. It’s just as ridiculous as someone saying I shouldn’t have given into a C-section when I so badly wanted a natural birth. My baby’s heart rate was dropping with every excruciating contraction, and I’m supposed to put both our lives in danger because natural births are trendy? No way. It’s just the same for you. You cannot jeopardize your children or yourself by not making the right call for you in order to make someone else happy. Anyway… I’ll shut up now. 🙂 But I love you guys and want to see you thriving rather than surviving.

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