Living a Dysfunctional Function

I really feel dysfunctional sometimes. A little change in schedule and my day is completely screwed up.

Well, imagine a complete turn around in schedule for me. Completely opposite shift for the husband. It turns my routine upside down. As a result, I tend to allow myself to go into a slump. This slump is so deep, nothing sounds appealing.

Make some jewelry? Sounds horrible. Brainstorm ideas for work? Bound for failure. Play Sims 3? Boring. Work on school? Even worse.

That’s the pattern my mind seems to go in. Pity party. Woe is me!

Then it dawns on me. Seriously? I’m letting the devil win. And he’s mean. So why do that?

Nip it in the bud. Fight. I’ve had worse. Actually, I have nothing that’s so bad right now. Messed up schedule, maybe, but pshaw. Who cares? I could use a little spontaneity.

All it takes is a little attitude and drive.

Listening to the radio today, specifically KLove, I heard them talk about fear and how the Bible says so many times not to be afraid. They talked about it even just applying to simple fears. Coming down to being selfish. We’re afraid of failure. Of looking bad. Right now I’m afraid of being out of routine and not doing things perfectly because I’m afraid of messing everything up and doing what? Failing. Failing at life. But hey! I don’t need to be afraid. What good does it do me anyways? I’m a firm believer in everything working for the good. So what am I letting fear control me for? It’s all going to work out.

I may have an illness called depression, but there’s no medicine that cures it. There are meds to help stabilize, yes. But some of it does still take some mind over matter. You have to learn to handle what the medicine can’t control. You have to learn to fight with your hands when you don’t have weapons.

I am strong. I am smart. I have talent and a calling. I can’t ignore my Puddle of Pickles :).

Initial Outfitters consultant-

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